Diary of a Bed (1972, US, full short movie, DVD rip)
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A male mattress tries to attract a female mattress by relating all of the different kinds of sexual activities that have occurred on top of him.
Published by sound67
Video Transcription
a big. I've made.
A really good man much older than.
I need just one darn minute.
My name is not Honey.
What is your name?
I don't think it's anything of your concern at the moment.
It's very warm and stuffy in here.
No wonder you're all wrapped up.
Well, I certainly would not think of taking anything off in front of you.
Well, it's okay with me if you wanted to perspire or be uncomfortable.
Go ahead.
Well, all right.
Phew, that is better.
What?
Well, I'm worried.
What? Wait a minute. Don't tell me you're a virgin.
Yes, I am. And I must tell you I'm proud of it.
I'm really afraid.
I'm afraid I won't know how to handle myself.
Oh, well, honey, you know I can remember back to the war between the states.
The Civil War?
Yeah. So what?
Nothing.
Well, it was the first time anyone really...
Please.
I was going to say, it was the first time anyone made love on me.
Her name was Melanie Butterworth.
She was a real beauty with the biggest hair...
I can't touch her.
Oh, you sure are touchy.
Anyway, she was in love with Brett Hogan, an officer in the Confederacy.
What he didn't know was the night before she said goodbye to an officer in the Union Army.
Oh.
Well, anyway, it was the night before he went to leave for the front.
And in her eyes, he was a handsome devil in his uniform.
...
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